All good things come to an end
I’m leaving for Ohio tomorrow. As usual, I’m not going to sleep at all tonight, so I can knock myself out on the plane and hopefully not remember a thing.
Singapore - Tokyo-Narita, Japan
Depart: 6am, Arrive: 2.15pm
NW20
Tokyo-Narita, Japan - Detroit-Wayne County, MI
Depart: 3.10pm, Arrive: 1.40pm
NW26
Detroit-Wayne County, MI - Columbus
Depart: 3.23pm, Arrive: 4.21pm
NW1790
It’s a strange mix of indifference, irritability, and sadness, I think. I just feel resigned this choice is taken out of my hands, annoyed that I have to follow this through, and obviously sad to just miss Singapore in general. Julia and I have made it a point to say I’ll be back in “9 months” rather than “next year”, her computer is a piece of shit so we probably can’t chat on Skype as much as we would like to, and I hope my apartment is still in one piece.
I suppose I don’t mind going back to Columbus… it’s just the flying that irks me. I hate flying now, especially when the flights take 21 hours at the very least to get to my destination.
And I’m also as equally annoyed that I didn’t do the things I so planned to do when I came back - go suntan on the beach, go out and meet with CPC, Green Poem, straitstimes et al…. I’m so sorry! Oh well, at least I made it a point to go to Sentosa with Pea. I remarked to her the resort looks like any amusement park you would see in any other country, and it was quite ironic how tourists flock to these exact same areas wherever they go.
… I haven’t anything much more to say, really. I did want to go into a tirade of my dislike for America (guns, racism and inconvenience) but I’m not in the mood for it… distracted by other things.
See y’all on the flip side (or same side, whatever. Lawlz Laura *waves*).
Dear J’lia
I don’t know if hindsight makes one all the better, but I do feel that you should concern yourself less about what the authorities will do to you and worry more about your own mental happiness. It feels like… what’s that name. Learned helplessness? You are miserable in your situation and you do nothing about it. Certainly there are a bunch of other thought processes going on than comparing you to a dog in an electrified cage, but at least the basic rules apply that way, I feel.
You keep telling me that because I didn’t suffer any consequences when I quit my CCA is the reason why I’m encouraging you to do the same. It’s true, I suppose, but even without my experience I still don’t think the administration can force anyone to do anything they don’t want to. I mean, what are the consequences? Think about it for me. What can they do to you other than stuff you into another CCA? Just don’t participate in that CCA. What else can they do? Threaten to expel you because you didn’t participate? NUS doesn’t take into consideration CCA points when you apply either.
It’s my perception, really, that CCA hurts more than it helps. It helps you if you’re applying for a scholarship, but you’re in guitar, and that is not going to count very much. On the other hand, you’re here complaining to me that the teacher sucks, the hours are long, you don’t like the rigorous training, so what else can I say but stop doing it if it doesn’t make you happy? Why complain about something when you can just change it yourself?
I feel that you should be bold and take control on your own life. Stop worrying so much about whether or not it’s the proper thing to do - just do it.
I understand why you feel angry, and you’ve always have had a history of getting pissed at people telling you things that you don’t want to hear. I was your age before, and I know where you’re coming from, but I just wish you’d be more receptive to things that you rigorously believe to be true, however flawed they are. I think you think that CCA is very, very important, and I suppose I’m trying to convince you it’s not.
Now the problem is that because we disagree on this, you’ll never address this topic to me again. My anger threshold is only reserved for Psycho Couple and Bigfoot, so I’m not angry. I mean… I suppose I view everything as a rational discussion (when it’s not about me, heh) I’m worried that there’s one less thing to talk about, and well, it’s something major in your life.
I don’t know if I should just keep my mouth shut and let you go on to do what you do, because I’m quite sure you’ll come home crying more times than you should be, and I’m just… sad, I suppose, that I can’t be receptive to something that I can’t understand.
It just breaks my heart to see you miserable, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Ramblings
ETA: Okay, I’m going to nap first before gaming. Ugh I’m so tired.
I’m finished with my finals, and I’m exhausted. I’m going to unwind with KHII (finally I’m able to play!) I used up two booklets for writing out my Holocaust exam - had I enough time, I would’ve written more.
I still don’t quite get why in America people leave so early once they’re done. Don’t they check their work for mistakes, or in the case of writing an essay, write about 10 more things they could touch on? I mean, I had my Stats exam on Monday, and had I not triple checked everything, I would’ve missed one bit where I forgot to square the number. My essay on the Holocaust had like, 6 major points and if I were to go into detail about those 6 points, I wouldn’t have enough time to finish the essay. It turned out that I was the very last student in the exam hall, and I was kinda shocked about that.
Julia apologized for not being online as often as she would be, in which I am completely grateful for (her apology, that is, not her not being online). The iPod I gave her for her birthday stopped working, so I’ll probably ask her to restart it, if not, to exchange it for a new one (since it’s still under warranty and shit).
I feel like I’m supposed to be happy that the exams are over, but I don’t feel anything about it. It’s been that way since I can remember… maybe OSU is easier, and that I’m not pushing myself as hard, or I do have more motivation to study than I did in NUS. Maybe because of that, I don’t really feel a sense of relief, since I didn’t stress myself as much as I could have. I did truly enjoy this quarter, and I guess it’s more of sadness than joy that the quarter had to end so quickly. I do hope that Spring will be as equally fun (and no more math! YAY… except now I have 3 Science courses to plow through).
I need to finish my food swipes by Friday. There’s fried rice and egg rolls tomorrow in the cafeteria, so I’ll probably get like, 5 helpings of that shit for lunch and dinner. It’s made from cheapass ingredients, but damned if it isn’t delicious.
Disneyfied is updated (briefly), I’ve joined the Twilight City RP as Belle (thinking of taking up Hades) aaaand… oh yes. Some Singapore-related whining.
Oh Daddy
Was talking to my dad on Skype not long ago. It’s nearing midnight on my side and lunchtime on his side.
Dad: Okay, I’m going to get some lunch.
Me: Okay.
Dad: Want me to get anything for you?
—
Me: Will you be coming back soon?
Dad: Nah, by that time you’ll be asleep.
Me: Oh, okay.
Dad: Yah, so NO LUNCH FOR YOU.
Oh daddy. You’re too funny.
ETA: AND JULIA WHERE ARE YOU???
Quotes
Ken: D’you want the duck’s head?
Lisa: No, that’s gross! You eat it! You’re a fatass.
Ken: Shut up, Lisa, or I’ll stuff it down your throat.
Lisa: DO IT.
Ken: I’ll do it when you’re asleep. You ever watch The Godfather?
Renee: Why are we all taking pictures here?
Lisa: Dad wanted a picture of the 2008 calander.
Ken: Y’know Dad, it’s a digital picture. There’s the date on it.
Uncle: Huh, then what I did was kinda stupid, wasn’t it?
Me: ????? (Another testament to how bad my Chinese is. I meant to write ‘Merry Christmas’, but I wound up writing ‘happy lay egg!’ instead).
Mom: *can’t stop laughing*
Me: I liked the bit about Adam and Eve in the Bible. Not bad la… can read la.
Julia: xD What, you’re turning the Bible into a book review? ‘A+++ WILL READ AGAIN’.
Me: ‘NOT BAD NOT BAD!’ xD
Julia: xDDD
Me: So… what was that book you were reading again? War and Peace, right? Shit, that book is so long.
Julia: Uh, actu-
Me: Christ, I hate reading long books, and look at you. That’s like the book of all books.
Julia: It’s CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, not War and Peace!
Me: Potato, potahto.
Role Reversal
It’s kinda odd to see that I’m now nagging at my parents than the other way around. My mother got a goitre about two weeks ago, where the thyroid gland on her neck is swelling and creating a growth on her neck. From last week, the lump has increased by 4 cm. She’s been to the hospital, and the growth isn’t cancerous, so we’re really glad. We’ve guessed it’s probably iodine deficiency that caused the swelling, so I’ve asked her to buy iodized salt, instead of the regular table salt she uses.
I told her last week, and she hasn’t bought it yet. She’s been munching down on seaweed (how often I don’t know), and apparently, some website has told her to ‘drink fresh juices, eat more flesh food, and avoid flour’. Christ on a fucking pogo stick, that’s the most stupid advice I’ve ever heard. Everyone does that! It’s not a solution to a fucking growth on your neck that’s solely related to iodine!
Well, anyway, I’ve pestered her enough to go buy the iodized salt today. I asked her to get Julia to go with her, so she won’t end up buying the wrong product. Sis is nearing the end of her O’ Levels, but Mom still ‘doesn’t want to disturb her’. It’s fucking Saturday, shopping takes roughly an hour; it’s not going to make her fail Literature on Monday!
Dad, on the other hand, has put on so much weight we’ve been nagging at him to exercise more. All the extra weight’s settled on his stomach, which is a very odd sight to see. From the back, my father looks like GI Joe, but when he turns, it’s like, OH SHIT FUCK. Sis has been single-handedly trying to drag him to the gym and getting my mother to cut down on the amount of food she prepares (which is a lot), since my father lacks that female instinct that goes ‘I’M TOO FAAAAAT’ and scarfs down everything. So I’m just there nagging at my dad, except in online form.
It is an odd feeling.
