Brain brain brain brain
I don’t know if I can call this burnout, but there must be a damn name to this.
I’ve been pretty exhausted from this quarter, and I can probably chalk it up to any number of excuses. The teachers suck; the courses weren’t that interesting; I’m just tired. I literally cannot concentrate at all. It took me an hour to finish 12 pages of stuff that I was skimming though, because I kept getting distracted doing other things. Even writing this very post I keep running off to do other things. This, if I can recall correctly, was something that happened during the Fall Quarter, and God knows how badly I did that quarter.
It’s the exact same weird pattern. I’ll suddenly get interested in things that have laid dormant for some time, I’ll start picking things up that I should be leaving after the examinations, I’ll be cleaning up the house, and I’ll be sleeping a lot. I’ll constantly think about the things that I’ll be able to do after the exams, and it’s really debilitating for my concentration, honestly, because I’m using up all my resources fantasizing, not studying. It’s like my brain’s switched to “relaxed” mode without my permission.
I keep telling myself it’s literally the final stretch, and tripping at the finish line is NOT a good thing, but apparently my brain seems to have already assumed I have finished. It’s a very annoying thing.
Maybe it was the 3 research papers I crammed in the final week, and my brain’s worn out (or at least it assumed the worst was behind us, or that the effort it exerted was similar to the final exams, so it assumed was time to relax or something).
I want to give my brain a name. I shall name her June, in commemoration of today, where she is officially recognized as the functioning entity of my existence.
