Behavioural Patterns
As with any quarter I go through, I always have a meltdown in the middle of the quarter, and this time was no exception. I can fucking predict my meltdowns, but it doesn’t help alleviate it any. Today was just horrible.
I got an email from my residency advisor at 7 in the morning that I was supposed to procure my own tax return, if not, my application would not be processed. I didn’t fill out a tax return because I had no income, and was told that I didn’t need to, and that was a FANTASTIC way to start out the morning. I panicked for an hour, calling his phone (and as usual, he didn’t pick up) before I made sure my aunt was awake enough to hear my hysterical screaming.
I swear someone has a vendetta against me. I tried calling his phone for an hour, and he didn’t pick up. My aunt tried once and got through. I called him again, and after letting him know that I HAD NO INCOME, WASN’T IN AMERICA IN 2006, NOBODY CLAIMED ME, all I needed in the end was to resubmit a sworn affidavit. Still being hysterical, I didn’t manage to explain to my aunt properly why we needed to go to the bank again, and here is another stellar example of my pathetic verbal skills.
Pathetic verbal skills arose again when I had to talk to my sister on a GP question she was doing. I couldn’t explain anything properly; I made her even more confused; I was stupid enough to say ‘I don’t think your stand is good enough’; couldn’t comfort her when she cried. I just couldn’t do anything at all.
I was so agitated by the time I headed off to class I couldn’t see anything except how awful this professor was. I couldn’t listen, I was so distracted with my own fury at the morning’s events and at her that I couldn’t focus. I was frustrated and I was PISSED.
I think I chalked it up to the coffee. By the time I headed off to my second class, I was still angry and agitated, but after that 10 minute nap in class (which I guess was a sign that the caffeine has worn off) made me feel better.
And then my final Psych class for the day decided to fuck it all up and gave me a D on my midterm. I don’t DO D’s. I’m in the Honors program, my GPA is a 3.8, I’ve gotten As and Bs, I DON’T DO D’s. EVEN AFTER A CURVE. Her questions were designed to trip people up. I remember managing to spot a question where she was out to trip us up and I felt smug in avoiding that pithole, but I hadn’t realized how many of those questions there were. No one was happy that the places to get extra credit were never stated, and - despite the fact that I got extra credit on that one question - I got pissed too. If the question asked you to name 6 of the 9 traits on the California F-scale, people WILL NAME 6 OF THE 9. THE QUESTION ASKED FOR IT. The only reason I got it was because I dotted all nine IN PENCIL ON THE MARGINS, and she considered that part of the answer. It was ridiculous.
And surprise, surprise, after that, I realized I had forgotten to register for Autumn 08. Honors students got first pick, and my window opened on the 21st. I had completely forgotten until today, where obviously it had to coincide with disaster day. I was a week late, and obviously this happened:
I’m waitlisted as number 22, although I am thankful that the other classes I needed weren’t filled. Schedule:
Chemistry 101 - Duh.
Psychology 485 - Psychology and the Law
Psychology 540 - Clinical Counseling OR Anthropology H200, if they open up a new class.
Psychology H508 - Psychology of Judgment and Decision-Making.
Now I have shit Philosophy homework to do.
Wishlist
So there are a couple of things that I want. I don’t go for the cheap ones, for I am not cheap… my stupid mind works that way - to get the most possibly expensive piece of shit that I can never afford. My brain sucks.
Armani’s Beauty and the Beast (Around $2400)
Giclee’s “For the Love of Beauty” ($1170)
Mystical Kingdom of the Beast ($1700)
Armani’s Belle figurine ($700)
John Alvin’s “Bittersweet Embrace” (Around $460-$700?) Don’t like this one so much. I saw it in the NYC Disney Store and I LOL’ed at EMO!Beast.
I probably won’t get any of these until I… y’know, actually have a permanent house to live in, because the art pieces need to be hung, and the figurines actually need displaying, instead of being kept in a box. Speaking of which, the Beauty and the Beast poster seems to be misplaced in my Singapore home. I’m trying not to panic, but… Christ, I’m worried.
RL
Can I just say that I hate adult life? It makes me neurotic.
More residency
IF YOU ASKED ME TO CALL YOU BACK, THEN PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE. I’VE BEEN TRYING SINCE 8.30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.
FUCK YOU.
Brain brain brain
It’s kinda strange that after doing so much Biopsych, now everytime I feel depressed I just say it’s just my substantia nigra that’s being stimulated. Or I just have too little serotonin (which I probably do, since trichotillomania is apparently treated with SSRIs).
Residency
I am not in a happy place right now.
I received an email from Paypal a couple of hours ago notifying me that the IRS requested my info. After making sure it wasn’t a phishing scam, I sort of panicked around for a bit before Laura told me to chill. After this I chalked it up to either 1. some general survey the IRS does, or 2. my residency advisor requested the information.
I got a call from my aunt who told me my residency advisor left a message and wanted me to call him back. He didn’t say anything in that voice message, and with that Paypal email thing that I got earlier, I get the feeling this isn’t just some weird coincidence. Now I’m feeling extremely neurotic over this entire thing. Why didn’t he just call my cell phone? Is he going to tell me to procure even more documentation? Why didn’t he say anything in the voice message? Why didn’t he email me? What is there that can’t be emailed? Is he going to tell me that I’ve been rejected?
The thing that really pisses me off is that I submitted this in January. JANUARY. He told me to get a photocopy of my aunt’s tax return, which was in APRIL, and in between he could have just given me the DAMN LIST OF OTHER THINGS I NEEDED TO SUBMIT IN BETWEEN. After I gave him the tax return, I thought that was the end of it. He then emailed me to say he needed my driver’s license (didn’t have one), vehicle registration number (didn’t have one) and my voting registration. I had to get my aunt to drive to the BMV for a second time to get a driver’s license equivalent. I really don’t know why he didn’t tell me this earlier.
The problem really lies with the timing. I intended to leave for Singapore for three months because I already assumed my residency application would be accepted by June (can’t leave the country for more than three weeks if you’re intending to apply for residency). From the way things are progressing, it looks like it’s not going to be processed on time, if the Paypal email is really associated with this residency thing, it’ll only be processed in a week. God forbid if I get rejected, I’m not getting cheaper tuition fees for the next year. I am not fucking reapplying, because I’d have graduated already.
I am extremely angered by this. The entire point of submitting it early was in the hopes that I could get it over with, not draw it out like this. Just TELL ME STRAIGHT OFF, not give it to me in fucking bits and pieces, or just leave me fucking hanging out here to dry.
