Tomorrow…
Have you ever been so afraid that it paralyzes your entire being? Being unable to function properly - you can’t do even the most normal things. Take the bus, sit down watching TV or even sleeping?
This is the first time in my entire life I’ve ever felt this fear.
Haven’t been able to function properly for the past 3 days. I’ve been binging alot, drinking lots of Coke… I can’t even sit down in front of the computer and relax.
A Levels are coming out tomorrow.
The fear is overwhelming.
Japan: Stream of Consciousness
A few thoughts on Japan before I forget them…
Yasukuni shrine. The visit completely changed my outlook. At first I didn’t see what the Chinese were wetting their pants over - I mean, if the Japanese choose to worship their dead, just let them go do it! I was very wrong.
The glorification of the dead is so intense to the point where a parallel drawn between them and the current fundemental Muslims are inevitable. The Japanese used to send in kamikaze pilots, try to kill as many people as possible before they lost the war, and then glorify them in death. The fundemental Muslims today send in suicide bombers to kill as many people as possible and are made martyrs of after death. You begin to wonder why the Japanese choose to glorify these people who outrightly murdered so many people.
The Shrine also had a museum outlining the Japanese war history. Utter bullshit. You’ve heard lots of people saying that the Japanese whitewash their crimes, but it’s only when you see it for yourself will you feel the outrage.
Rape of Nanking: Casualties in this tragedy was more than the victims of Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. 80,000 women and children raped and mutilated. Thousands tortured, bayoneted, executed.
This was given the attention of 1 mere paragraph. And the explanation was utterly ridiculous. ‘… After Nanking was captured, the Chinese people returned to live in peace.’ I was going WTF.
Course of the war. Everything was blamed on Roosevelt. Something to the effect of the Japanese were weak and wanted to surrender, but the Potsdam declaration did not make them feel secure because ROOSEVELT had a hand in it. ROOSEVELT wanted to bomb the heck out of Japan just for kicks. ROOSEVELT knew the Japanese were weak but still wanted to bomb them anyway.
Invasion of SEA. The Japanese whitewashed it outrightly. The Japanese did set up a ‘East-Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere’ in SEA, but all who take History know that was never a success. This museum focused on the Japanese setting up this co-prosperity sphere and that it was a success, with the Japanese bringing peace and economic prosperity to SEA and everyone was happy. Massacres and rape were not documented at all.
Language. In Japanese kanji, the term for their conquests was ‘进出’, which literally means ‘in out’. This implied that the Japanese went into foreign terrority, fought all the people, killed all of them and then came out. The English translation termed it ‘incident’. ‘The Nanking Incident’, ‘The Manchuria Incident’. Get your facts right: It was a fucking INVASION.
You can see why the Chinese was so angry with the Japanese. Then again, China too has a history of whitewashing their own crimes, so maybe they also should just shut up and be a good role model before stabbing anyone else in the eye.
The Hiroshima memorial site. The museum was certainly an eye opener. There were numerous anecdotes on the sufferers of the atomic bomb, the effects of radiation on the victims and the utter destruction of Hiroshima. It was really a tremendous experience. It’s no longer the stuff you read from a textbook, but you feel it all around you, in the here and now.
Problems: The memorial site was dedicated to ‘erasing nuclear weapons from the earth’ instead of being peaceful. They were anti-nuclear rather than anti-war. This purpose obviously shows that the Japanese still do not regret their war crimes. So what, you support a war but you don’t support nuclear weapons? Bullshit. Nuclear weapons are products of war, and war kills people. Their logic is completely backward.
The museum also never stated why the bomb was dropped. It did a fantastic job on making Japan look like the victims of American supremacy. They had lots of evidence to prove that the atomic bomb was dropped to observe its effects [after all, this was the first of its kind], and that ROOSEVELT [again] wanted unconditional surrender and did not assure the continued regime of the Japanese monarchy etc, that was why Japan did not accept the Declaration, and Japan was given no warning that the bomb would be dropped if they refused the Declaration. Aww… poor, poor Japan.
There were numerous shrines and memorials dedicated to all the victims of the atomic bombing, and there was a flame which would never be extinguished until all nuclear weapons were erased from the earth. Fine and dandy, but if you remember, the Rape of Nanking was given one measly paragraph and whitewashed. The Japanese want us to remember the atomic bombing for eternity, and yet they want us to forget the people they killed [which numbers more than the victims of the bombing]? It is ridiculous.
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The language/racial barrier. Dad and I are Chinese, correct? We look Japanese, since we’re all Asians. This was very unfortunate for us, where we had people speaking to us [in extremely long sentences] in Japanese, and all we could do was stare. I’m sure the non-Asians would have an easier time in Japan, where they can automatically tell the difference and attempt to communicate in broken English or hand signals. It was very uncomfortable to be in a country where you don’t know what language they’re speaking. Food menus and all that were in Japanese, and since I haven’t mastered the art of even reading the language smoothly yet, we drew a blank. Most of the time we just grunt and point at the pictures.
Waiters [by that I mean the male waiters] were also a problem. Already understanding that we don’t speak Japanese [my favorite phrase was 'I don't speak Japanese'], they still try to communicate with us in Japanese. After we pointed to the food on the menu, the guys jabbered away in Japanese making us wonder if the food was not available or was he just repeating the order. We’d stare at them for a while and then point to the food again, in which the waiter would start jabbering again. This miscommunication culminated into the ‘one more beer’ joke between Dad and I, maybe I’ll share it next time.
For waitresses, they were really more efficient. There was one waitress in Kyoto who informed us that rice was unavailable using her hands and the menu. There was another in Hiroshima who transformed all the Japanese words into English katakana pronunciation so we could better understand it and took orders very efficiently.
English. The level of English deteriorated as we went further west. In Tokyo, the people could speak in complete sentences, with a little grammar mistake here and there. In Kyoto, all they could manage were phrases, but still understandable. In Hiroshima, English was virtually non-existant. It was surprising on 2 counts, one because Hiroshima is a tourist attraction [for the worst of reasons] and secondly because we were staying in a hotel that was owned by an American company.
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The politeness of the Japanese is exactly what you’d imagine, and more. They would say ‘arigato gozaimashita’ numerous times before you leave [there was one who said it 6 times], and ‘irrashaimase’ when you enter.
The staff on the Shinkansen was incredibly polite. The people who pushed food carts would bow to the passengers everytime she left the compartment. The thing was: no one was looking at her, and I doubt anyone cared. But she did it anyway. That was the amount of respect she had for her job. Incredible.
Same goes for the bus and train conductors. They have hand signals and a strict routine upon arriving at each station. At one point they would turn in the opposite direction where the train’s going and gesture in that direction. I don’t know what the heck that means, but shit, nobody’s looking, yet he does it! I mean, if no one cares, and you know that it’s not doing anything for moving the train, you won’t do it. But these guys do it. Fantastic.
The giving spirit of the Japanese can be felt all over. I don’t care whether this spirit is false or not, as from the numerous accounts of Japanese able to blur the line between politeness and outright sarcasm, but it’s there. There’s a collective feeling - it’s not about the individual, it’s about the Japanese as a community, a whole. You feel like you’re not alone in this place, that you are taken notice of and the people recognize your existance.
And then you come back to Singapore and the entire atmosphere changes. It’s extremely difficult to explain… perhaps it’s just the tiny actions people take that changes the way you think about them. There was nothing collective about this spirit in Singapore. There was a feeling of self-centeredness and selfishness. The I-don’t-give-a-fuck-about-my-fellow-people feeling. And we know it’s all true.
It was nauseating coming back to Singapore. We had incredible service in Japan. Ironically, the first advertisment I saw getting down the plane was Singapore’s attempt to have friendler service ['SERVICE WITH A SMILE!']. It’s my nature to say ‘thank you’ to the person who served me - a habit I formed since my trip to London. The Japanese acknowledge the thanks and give me another barrel of ‘arigato gozaimashita’, while in Singapore you’re just lucky to get a grunt. I’m not saying repeat ‘thank you so very very much’ on end like the Japanese, but a simple ‘thank you’ would be nice. That’s how you start off good service. Not by throwing in advertisments and vaguely stating how you can serve better.
Yeah… that’s all I can manage now. I promise pictures with this post when I can get my ass off to work on resizing them.
Back from Japan!
Will be uploading pictures soon!
Dream
What would really happen if things went the way I wanted it to be?
… If I wasn’t the protagonist, I’d end up as cannon fodder.
And there’ll be an ending to the story.
An ending.
It’s a terrible thought.
I’m doing all I can right now to salvage it.
